You know those days when you’ve technically rested - you’ve cancelled plans, you’ve lain on the sofa, you’ve even had an early night - and yet you wake up feeling like you ran a marathon in your sleep?
Been there.

And recently, with my own post-treatment fatigue, I’ve seen this even more clearly: it’s possible to rest your body while your mind is sprinting laps.

What looks like “rest” from the outside isn’t always rest on the inside.

If we’re lying down but arguing with ourselves, planning tomorrow, replaying yesterday, or judging how well we’re “resting,” our nervous system is still working overtime. No wonder we’re shattered.

Wisdom vs. the Busy Brain

People often ask, “How do I know whether to push on or stop?”

Wisdom feels simple and steady. There’s no debate. Anxious thinking feels noisy, pressured, confused:
Should I do more?
Am I being lazy?
What if I fall behind?

If it feels like you’re negotiating with a very persuasive personal trainer in your head (“one more task, one more email, one more chore”), you’re probably not listening to wisdom.

That’s just the busy brain making a case. Wisdom is the quiet “enough now” that doesn’t need a PowerPoint presentation.

The Marathon We Run in Our Heads

I once said that “running a marathon in your mind” can be more exhausting than running one with your legs - and I meant it. Mental effort uses real energy. Overthinking is like leaving all the apps open on your phone; the battery drains even when you’re not “doing” anything.

Practical example:
You decide to rest on the sofa. Lovely. Then the mind pipes up: You should put a wash on. You still haven’t replied to that message. Also… what if this fatigue never ends? Your body is horizontal, but your mind is sprinting laps around the living room. Ten minutes later you’re more tired than when you lay down - not because resting failed, but because you never actually rested.

Your Body’s Love Letters

Our bodies are kind, honestly.
They send love letters (read more about Love Letters from our bodies here) before they shout.

For me, the early notes look like a wired feeling at bedtime, achy joints, or a raised hum in the background of my day. If I miss those letters, the reminder gets bigger.

We don’t need to read these signs as danger. Just information.
“Time to soften.” “Lighten the load.” “Less screen, more fresh air.” “Bedtime, not one-more-episode.”

And if you do miss a sign and push through? You’re still okay. Learn from it, don’t batter yourself for it.

The Negativity Bias (and Why One Wobble Cancels a Hundred Wins)

Brains are brilliant, but they’re also wired for survival.

That means they notice problems faster than they notice peace. You can have a week of small wins - showers taken, meals eaten, admin handled, moments of genuine calm - and then one wobble gets all the airtime.

Suddenly the inner headline reads: “Back to Square One.”

You’re not. You just gave one thought too much of the microphone.

Tip the scales back deliberately. Count what did happen today. Celebrate brushing your teeth on a bad day. (Truly - some days that’s huge.)

The Armchair in the Dark

Here’s an analogy I love, and shared in OUR Membership recently:

Imagine a cosy armchair in the middle of a cluttered room.

When the light (clarity) is on, getting to the chair is easy - you can see the path.

Sometimes the light goes off: low mood, fatigue, anxiety.

The mind’s reflex is to stand up and scramble around for the switch, tripping over things in the dark.

What if you stayed sitting? Not as a punishment - as kindness. You don’t need to solve the dark. You can trust the light to come back by itself. It always does. I’ve seen this in myself over and over: when I stop fumbling, the room brightens faster.

Real Rest Looks Like This

• No mental marathons. If you’re resting, rest. Lists can wait. (They’ll still be there - annoyingly reliable things that they are!)
• Tiny, honest check-ins. “Body, what would feel kind for the next ten minutes?” Not the next month - the next ten minutes.
• Permission to be ordinary. A shower, clean PJs, toast for tea. On a low day, that’s a win.
• One decision at a time. You don’t have to solve your life tonight. Choose the next small, kind thing.
• Let thoughts pass. Thoughts are like posts on a feed - you can scroll by without clicking into the comments.

When You’re Not Sure What to Do

People worry, “But what if I choose wrong - rest when I should move, or move when I should rest?”

Honestly? You’ll find your rhythm by living, not by perfect analysis.

Sometimes you’ll push too far and your body will send a louder love letter. Okay. Noted. Sometimes you’ll rest and feel guilty. That’s just more thought. Not a moral failing.

Your wisdom is intact even when you can’t hear it. Clarity is the quiet underneath the noise. The more we trust that, the less we’ll burn energy trying to manage or manipulate every feeling.

A Soft Place to Land

If this speaks to you, come start with my free 3-part mini course Break Free from Anxiety and Overwhelm: For Good (click here for instant access!)

We don’t teach “better coping” - we point you back to what’s already there.
Less doing, more seeing.

Because when the seeing changes, rest gets to be rest again.