I used to be a liar

Little white lies
Things I used to think, feel and do before I saw what I see now!

Do you tell white lies because you feel bad letting others down?

I did.

In the past, I used to have a habit of telling lies. Whenever I found myself in a situation where I didn't feel like participating socially, whether it was because I wasn't up for it, didn't want to do it, or felt overwhelmed, I would resort to making up excuses or fabricated reasons to get out of it.

When you find yourself in a position where you can't prioritise yourself and feel the need to tell a little white lie, I would rather encourage you to do what is necessary to take care of yourself in that moment.

However, what often happened to me, or at least what used to happen, is that I would end up feeling really guilty about lying.

I would constantly worry that the other person probably knew I was lying, and I would beat myself up over it, ultimately making myself feel even worse.

But now, I've come to realise that what other people think of me is none of my business.

We all have the right to put ourselves first.
We have the right to change our minds.
We have the right to not want to do things.
We have the right to decline invitations to socialise if we so choose.

So these days, I simply choose to be honest.

If I'm not up for something or if I don't feel like doing it, I'll just say no.

I rarely cancel plans now, and part of the reason for that is because I don't put unnecessary pressure on myself anymore. I know that I have the freedom to change my mind.

"Can I think about it?"

An approach I've adopted when someone asks me to make plans is to respond with "Can I think about it?" if I'm not immediately sure whether I want to say yes or no.

This gives me the opportunity to consider whether or not I genuinely want to participate, and it allows me to confidently decide whether my answer will be a yes or a no.

I no longer make up excuses, and I don't feel the need to provide reasons either, because I am entitled to prioritise myself, just as you are.

Next time you find yourself tempted to come up with a little white lie when asked to do something or be part of something that you're unsure about, try saying "Can I think about it and come back to you?". This will give you the permission to say no if that's truly the answer you would prefer to give.

Remember, you are allowed to set boundaries, and what others think about those boundaries is none of your business.

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Are we overcomplicating mental health? 

The continuous spiral of talking about mental illness and neglecting to discuss mental health that’s within us all! 

Finding herself in a mental hospital for a month aged 22, her worst fears of going crazy had come true! Sarie truly believed she was broken for many years, and now sees that this was in part due to massively over complicating what it meant be a human being. After a long period of exploring and training as a psychotherapist, still burning out every 18 months for another ten years, Sarie finally found the answer, and now shares the surprising simplicity of it all to help others get the same relief. 

Sarie has trained as a transactional analysis psychotherapist, as well as working and training in many other therapeutic disciplines, such as NLP, CBT, DBT and hypnotherapy. Sarie is also an author, celebrity coach and therapist, working with thousands of people a year, of all ages, all over the world. Her main aim is to help them really see the simplicity and beauty behind human nature, getting out of their heads and into their lives, being able to see that the inside out nature of life really is a gift. This removes limitations and stories they may hold about themselves, and as a result finding an ease and contentment in life they often never knew was possible. 
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